Rnct

Funny Stories

The vomtastic bride.

"I went to a wedding where the bride got so hammered that she started picking up glasses on random tables, throwing up into them, and then setting them back down." —Briana Scheibel, Facebook

“I went to a wedding where the bride got so hammered that she started picking up glasses on random tables, throwing up into them, and then setting them back down.

The runaway bride.

"There were about 100 guests at the wedding reception and we were waiting for the bride, whom no one had actually seen since she and the groom had left the church. After about an hour, people started to leave, even though the poor groom assured them "she'd be right back." It wasn't until two days later I found out the bride had asked her new husband for the car keys, saying she needed something, got in the car and took off in her bridal gown, stopped and picked up a former boyfriend, and left for Mexico, taking all of the gift money with her. I have never felt so sorry or embarrassed for anyone as I did the groom." —Kate Walters, Facebook

“There were about 100 guests at the wedding reception and we were waiting for the bride, whom no one had actually seen since she and the groom had left the church. After about an hour, people started to leave, even though the poor groom assured them “she’d be right back.” It wasn’t until two days later I found out the bride had asked her new husband for the car keys, saying she needed something, got in the car and took off in her bridal gown, stopped and picked up a former boyfriend, and left for Mexico, taking all of the gift money with her. I have never felt so sorry or embarrassed for anyone as I did the groom

The bride and the brawl

I used to work at a sports bar in southwest London. One evening we had a wedding reception. (You can imagine that people who have their wedding receptions at a place where people go to play football on Astroturf aren’t the classiest.)

Fairly late into the night I noticed that everyone swarmed out of the bar into the reception area. I went to the reception desk to see what was going on just in time to see a broken glass flying toward someone’s neck. Literally the entire wedding got involved in this fight, and by the time the police arrived a bridesmaid had had her dress torn off, the bride was splattered in blood, and I saw a man holding a baby get punched in the face three times.

Before she left the bride asked me if I thought she’d get her deposit back. I was speechless

The Photoshop fail.

I’m a wedding photographer and I once had a bride call me the day after her wedding to ask if I could photoshop a bridesmaid out of all her pictures because, ‘That bitch fucked my husband last night.’ I thought she’d probably do better to edit out the groom.

The drunk dick.

My husband’s best friend was so drunk during our reception that he was walking around with his dick out! Most everyone saw, including my grandparents. Luckily, I didn’t. He was embarrassed the next day.

He just got engaged, called my husband and said, ‘Hey man, you can totally pull your dick out at my wedding. I won’t be mad.’ 😑

The big spill.

"Somebody got too drunk and spilled red wine on the flower girl in the white dress before the photos. And then they hid and tried to pretend they didn't do it. It was me. I quit drinking and am now (more or less) a very civilized guest." —Michelle Kelm, Facebook

“Somebody got too drunk and spilled red wine on the flower girl in the white dress before the photos. And then they hid and tried to pretend they didn’t do it. It was me. I quit drinking and am now (more or less) a very civilized guest.

The awkward pause.

I went to a wedding that had technically been called off the previous Friday. They decided to go ahead and ‘see what happens’ after the honeymoon. When the minister did his ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ spiel, the room was filled with the most pregnant, awkward silence. After several seconds, he said, ‘…Last chance…’ They also did a symbolic gesture where they tied their hands together, which certainly made things less awkward.

After the ceremony, I don’t think they actually touched, spoke, or looked each other in the eye. They immediately went for the alcohol.

The three-hour tour

At my aunt’s wedding, the grandchildren of the groom were pole dancing. The groom’s daughter was cheating on her husband in the bathroom, and the bride cut her matron of honor in the face while cutting the cake. Best of all, we were on a boat so there was no way to leave! Once the boat got to shore we were sure to run off first!

The absent officiant.

"I was at a wedding where the officiant did not show up. It was a Friday evening; he forgot and went fishing instead. We all went to the reception without the marriage actually happening. After dinner, someone found a judge to do the ceremony, so the whole wedding party walked down the street to a nearby outdoor gazebo and the bride and groom got married, then walked back and continued the reception." —Randi Klag Mieyal, Facebook

“I was at a wedding where the officiant did not show up. It was a Friday evening; he forgot and went fishing instead. We all went to the reception without the marriage actually happening. After dinner, someone found a judge to do the ceremony, so the whole wedding party walked down the street to a nearby outdoor gazebo and the bride and groom got married, then walked back and continued the reception

The disappearing mom.

I went to a wedding once and we couldn’t find the mother of the bride anywhere. She was found in a hotel room. In a compromising position. With the best man. Whose girlfriend was at the wedding.

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